Monday, November 1, 2010

Jesus is a Socialist: The Re-education of Aleksandar Djeric

What inspired me to write the following piece was the repeated proclamations of one, Aleksandar Djeric, that I could not be a socialist and a Christian at the same time. I feel this issue needs to be addressed because Aleks represents a small but vocal minority of mentally impaired Serbs who truly believe Christianity and socialism can't mix.

Jesus, whom Christians consider the son and messenger of God said the following:
"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:24)

Aleks - let us be very clear that the quote is attributed to Jesus (not Baja Mali Knindza) who was born in Bethlehem (not Kosovo) and crucified in Jerusalem. A fully grown camel stands about 7 ft 1 in (hump included) and the eye of a needle measures a fraction of a mm. There is absolutely no way a camel (not your dick) could go through the eye a needle, and therefore, according to Jesus, there is no way a rich man will go to heaven.

Next lets look at:
Mark Chapter 10:21-25 Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Again Aleks - we have a very good example of Socialism in action with Jesus telling the wealthy young man the only way to follow him and gain heaven was to give away his great wealth to the poor, in other words redistribution of personal wealth to those with great need from those with great riches. Naturally, this must be very difficult for some (yourself included) to swallow, notice that the young mans face ‘fell’ when told he must give away his wealth to follow Jesus.

Moving along I would like to point out to you:
Matthew 25:31-46 "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life”.

Another example of Jesus clearly backing socialist ideals by stressing to importance of helping your fellow man through medical and material means.

Finally moron (Aleks) the last quote:
James 2:1-7: My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?

Aleks - in conclusion, you are the worst form of Balkan villager, meets Evangelical buffet Christian, misguided dumb fuck. Jesus was in fact the first socialist and just because Tito nationalized your grandparents pigeon farm doesn't mean everything associated with socialism is evil. Socialism is simply an economic and political theory which advocates the cooperative management of production and a humane distribution of resources. In other words, should God bless me with inheritance, high intelligence, entrepreneurial ability or the muthafuckin lotto I still have an obligation to provide the basic necessities to retards like yourself. Socialism is not post WWII Russian Communism/Marxism. I don't want you to share your cow with you Aleks. I merely want for yourself and your family to have access to decent health care, education and housing no matter what your income may be. I'm glad I could have been of service as you were clearly misinformed and in dire need of re-education.