Monday, April 11, 2011

Toronto is on Fire: These 10 People Made it Happen

When I first got into music back in 2005 Toronto was the black hole of the music world with a severe 'crabs in the bucket' mentality. Everyone was hating on each other and there were more rappers, producers, singers, DJs, engineers, managers, assholes, etc than fans. The change started with Kardi hooking up with Akon but this was soon eclipsed by Aubrey, the Grant Hill of hip hop, who achieved more in 2 months by himself than the whole Canadian rap industry combined had in its entire history. Yes I'm aware Maestro Fresh Wes's 'Let your backbone slide' was a top 40 hit back in the 70s but my statement still stands! Just when I began to think Drake was Illuminati something even more mysterious took place: in a span of 2 weeks a 10 year old girl from a village in Ontario took over the entire fucking world. Her name was Justin Bieber. And just when you think things can't get anymore fucked up, a 3rd guy (K'naan) shows up and has the biggest international hit (Wavin' flag) out of all of them!!! At this point Americans get scared and want to sound like they're from Toronto so they get a bunch of Toronto based producers and they blow up too! Wow. If you wanna make it in music, forget LA, forget Miami, forget Atl, pack your 10 months worth of winter gear and make your way to T dot. (If you live on the west coast like me, take comfort in the fact that the Leafs, Raptors, Jays and Toronto FC all still suck.)

I break down the people who made this shift happen and instead of the usual bios I gave some personal insight to make it fun!

1. Justin Bieber - his conservative stance has endeared him to the american masses, this lil muthafucker might turn out to be the next elvis
2. Drake - he did get nickelus f on 3 tracks in 2006 after i cut him in 2005, filip: 1 aubrey: 447,000 (in only the first week)
3. K'naan - unique and had an amazing single but apparently behaves like a somalian pirate
4. Boi-1da - the first canadian i heard that made an actual dope beat (kardi ft. clipse - set it off)
5. Kardinal Offishall - has been consistent for 15 years, can't seem to sell but american rappers love him
6. Melanie Fiona - if this was any other era she'd be #1 in toronto, i'm looking forward to her new album
7. 40 - him and drake are the jewish pinky and the brain and they actually have taken over the world, cool twitter pic
8. The Weeknd - very uniform debut mixtape, similar buzz to a drake's 'so far gone' but has no pics of himself (possibly looks like a terrorist)
9. The Messengers - low key for now but they did a bunch of songs for bieber so they're rich
10. T-Minus - is working with everybody lately but also produced 'replacement girl' (the song which almost ruined drake)

Honorable Mentions:

Rob Wells & Greg Wells - my list is urban based but if it was strictly pop these 2 would battle biebs for the top spot
Lights - her manager used to be that annoying persian host on cbc
Track & Field - they do most of k'naan's shit on top of their already successful careers
Midi Mafia - ok only 1 of of them is canadian but curtis loves them and he's still rich (if not played out)
Tone Mason - no one cuts samples like these guys, i expect them to blow
k-os - very cool, fucked off with grace and is returning with an album this year which we're all looking forward to
Keshia Chanté - it's been a while but she has all the connections to make a comeback
Tory Lanez - could be the canadian bow wow