Tuesday, November 17, 2015

10 Most Fertile Kosovar Diplomats

During my #NoKosovoUnesco initiative, in which my organization successfully campaigned to keep the narco-state of Kosovo out of UNESCO, I came across some admirable competition. Hashim Thaci may be an organ-harvesting terrorist (sa bukvalno dva prsta cela; look at his tiny nonintellectual forehead) but he has exquisite taste in selecting female diplomats. To show the world that despite doing my duty to protect my country's interests, I can still respect my opposition in a dignified, civil and neighborly manner. Without further ado, an ode to Kosovar Albanian beauty and fertility;

Name: Endrita Salihu
Government function: Ministry of European Integration
Best feature: Sensational shoulders

Name: Mimoza Kusari
Government function: Deputy Prime Minister of the Republic of Kosovo
Best feature: Flawless teeth (by Balkan standards)

Name: Vjosa Osmani
Government function: Member of Parliament
Best feature: Perfectly symmetrical pentagon-shaped head

Name: Lendita Haxhitasim
Government function: Kosovo Diplomat
Best feature: Elegant neck

Name: Andina Vllahiu
Government function: Kosovo Environmental Protection Agency
Best feature: Sturdy chin

Name: Arbnore Berisha
Government function: Senior Youth-led Project Officer
Best feature: Pull-resistant hair

Name: Albulena Haxhiu
Government function: Deputy of the Kosova Assembly
Best feature: Za dom spremna

Name: Shqipe Vela
Government function: Manager of UNDP Kosovo anti-corruption program
Best feature: Exquisite eyebrows

Name: Liridona Osmanaj
Government function: NUNV Municipal Project Officer
Best feature: Pinchable cheeks

Name: Vlora Çitaku
Government function: Ambassador of Kosovo to USA
Best feature: Inquisitive hands